Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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