So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I could fuck to npr.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
