you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
home. puking in laundry basket.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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