1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
