if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
