Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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