I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
