every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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