She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
