I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
