The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
