he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
