pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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