so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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