we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
