Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
