hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize
