so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
