he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize