My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
