He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We have so much sex to catch up on
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
