How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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