Can i not drive my cunt home
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Enjoy the penises
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
