That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
