I wanna passion pit in your ass
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
