i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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