apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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