im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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