holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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