I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
