from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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