I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
