Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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