Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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