My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
