I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
