i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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