The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
