So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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