I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
