I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Randomize
