I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
