I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
a search helicopter?!
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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