the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
