Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
