I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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