Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
