So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
My penis needs a shock collar
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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