Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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