just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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