I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
