3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
