Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i think i have two assholes
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize