8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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