I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
