shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
