i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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