I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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