im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
