Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
My penis needs a shock collar
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
