no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
