I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
